I sit and ponder at how God works in us and through us. I ponder how we are able to take a moment and reflect upon it we can truly see His hand in the events of our life. And how it can make sense.
I reflect on this because I found myself retreating when I had my beautiful angel 8 years ago. I didn't desire to be social. Part of this lack of desiring social interaction was due to having a baby who was extremely colicky and having many sleep sensitivity issues that demanded a need for a consistant schedule and early bedtimes. This became more important, not only for her health but for my sanity.
Thus, I believe God put into my heart a desire to actually stay home and be very content with isolating myself as well as not over-extending myself. I really tapped into the introvert of my being.
Before my angel was born I was always very involved and active in so many things. Even though I was always "social" and going, going, I did find myself being resistant to events and large groups. I forced myself to do it because I knew it was for great reasons. I believed I was a social person. After all I was a cheerleader in HS. Thus, aren't cheerleaders very extrovert people?
During the first couple of years of my angels life I became so content and comfortable with retreating from social life that I convinced myself I must surely be a 100% introvert. I figured I must have "forced" myself to be an extrovert for many years.
The last couple of years I have found myself becoming more involved in social settings through church and friends. And this very last year I have found myself really flexing my social muscles in ways I wouldn't have thought I would be willing to flex even 2 or 3 years ago and most definitely wouldn't have fathomed it 7 or 8 years ago!
What this flexing has taught me is that God gives us the opportunity to have true peace at the moment to handle what He and life are dealing us if we are willing to embrace that peace and situation.
I have learned that no matter what our nature is, introvert or extrovert, He has us retreat sometimes and then go out among the people at other times.
I believe the moments for retreat are to gather our strength. If we truly tap into the moments of retreat it can give us the opportunity to strengthen our Armor for Him through knowledge gathering, studying, lots of reflective and contemplative prayer. And for me and my sweet Angel the chance for me to really tap into understanding my faith on a level I never truly knew and therefore teach and pass it on to my beautiful daughter.
Then when He needs us to go out into the "market place" we are able to be strong, knowledgeable soldiers for Him.
I have also found that it is okay to be social with a desire to have quiet moments.
I have found that just because I am not able to do my rosary or my chaplet sitting still doesn't mean I am praying any less or that my prayers aren't just as heart felt or said.
I have found that He is asking me to GO OUT THERE AND BE IN THE MARKET PLACE...
AND I have embraced it with great joy and love because I know it is from Him.
I have found I am enjoying being social, not because I crave it, but because I know it is where He wants me now.
I know He gave me the chance to build a great, strong foundation not only for my daughter but for myself so that now as I go out to share the world with my daughter and share our faith with other that I am able to remember the balance of importance of God first, Family next, Church Family....and so forth!
I am so grateful for all the growth He keeps giving me. And I am so grateful to all of you who read what I have to share.