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Friday, May 30, 2014

Fear Not: Beautiful Bodies in Season!


WE MUST RESPECT OURSELVES!  We must respect that our bodies go through seasons and cycles just like the weather!

Our ancestors understood this better than we do.  They respected it better!  Could it be they were more in-tune with this fact because they weren't bombarded with so many distractions?  Distractions of gadgets.  Distractions of ads telling us we should look like this or that?  Distractions of flashing stuff?

What if we decided to relax and respect what our bodies need?  What if we quit comparing ourselves from one person to the next?  What if we quit comparing ourselves to where we were a year ago?

Here is an example of respecting our bodies:

Did you know that during winter our bodies want to hold on to a bit more weight.  It is our bodies way of protecting itself from a hard winter, famine, food store shortage.

Did you know that your body is going to crave more fruit during summer, late fall,  because that is when it is in season, so your body can prepare for the previous statement on winter.

Did you know spring time tends to be when most of us are at our leanest.

Did you know that if you respect the cycle of your body fluctuating a bit here and there during each season and not freak out you are going to maintain a healthier metabolism as well as a healthier state of mind?

I know I feel like a broken record...lol.  I've mentioned most of this individually on previous postings, on my facebook page, and to many many many friends and family.  Yet I still see it, still hear it, still read about how many people don't love themselves, don't nurture themselves, don't strengthen themselves!

Did you know that when you stress about all that above (even letting it be a consuming thought, a nagging irritant, etc is stress)....when you stress about these things.....YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR FAILURE!  

Why is all this so darn important!?!?!

Because I want all people....especially women.....to love the amazing person they were meant to be....the person they are RIGHT NOW!!!

This is the only way we are going to change the culture of self-hate for our daughters....girls in our lives!

When they see us loving ourselves....not depriving ourselves....nurturing ourselves with great wholesome food...great movement....great laughing....great community involvement....

When they see this they then don't focus on what they think is wrong with themselves....therefore decrease the likelihood of them looking for "Love in all the WRONG PLACES!".....

When we practice love....show love...are love....
They become love....expect to be loved in an honorable, Godly way....they respect themselves....they change the culture around themselves by demanding dignity, integrity, respect of their true being....the being GOD created them to be!

Our bodies...our sexuality...is not to be feared but to be embraced the way God intended it to be in ALL SEASONS!

Blessings and prayers ALWAYS!
~K :)

Friday, May 23, 2014

Phat Pats on Friday!


"You sure are Phat!"...or....
"Man, she is Phat!"

When I lived on the East Coast,  I had no idea what that meant at the time.  Had to ask a coworker what it meant.  I remember being horrified that these statements were considered  compliments by the men who would throw these out to women.

My least favorite was, "She has a Phat a**."   It would make me cringe when I heard that being referenced toward or about a woman and her derriere!  It just seemed derogatory, unrespectful, and truly not a compliment.  I don't care what planet a man comes from a woman DOES NOT want to hear that!

Comments that focus on our physicalness takes away the dignity and true beauty of how and why we were created.

Some men don't even realize they do or say things that can be considered disrespectful, demeaning.  It is a two-fold issue.

We as women have not helped with our whole attitude of : 
I am woMAN, hear me roar louder than you...
 I CAN DO IT, I DON'T NEED YOU....attitude!

 Thus, men seeing us less and less in a feminine way, and more and more as an object.

This has had me thinking about pats!  Sometimes our husbands do things that to them they think is a term or a gesture of endearment, of love, and we may cringe, or pull away or feel frustrated.  Why is that?  What is the root behind that less than loving reaction.

I realized for me my husbands pats would bring back memories of being objectified rather than respected and loved with true dignity and nurturing of my femininity.

I will explain.   :)

My sweet hubby can be in a wonderful loving mood, come into a room, pat me on the bottom and I will cringe either internally or externally.  Either way I don't like it.  To me it has always been like fingernails on a chalkboard.   I have tried to view it as I know he intends it to be: a loving gesture.  A gesture saying, I see you, I love you, I want to be with you!

I realized recently...I finally understand why I don't like it.  It brings back memories of being objectified as a young girl growing up, and as a young woman out on my own.

The youngest memory I have of every being patted on the "back" was when I was 10.  I was at a swim party with a friend.  Her older brother was helping us untwist our bathing suit straps at the pool.  When he was done he swatted our fannies saying "okay it's straight".

 From then on I was always conscience of it. I was always aware, sensitive to how men/boys may do things that are truly not honorable.  

 When I bussed tables at 12 and 13, the old men drinking coffee for hours on end reaching out to "hug" you and "praise" you for your diligence of always attending to their coffee; and as you left their table with your coffee pot they would draw their arm away from your waist to then give a slight tap a bit lower than your waist.

After football games in high school, boys flicking their sweaty nasty field towels at you.  But where at you....of course your bottom....well because of course that is the only spot on your body that could handle a towel flick without it burning for eternity.  But the point being is they probably did it cause they knew they couldn't get away from actually touching a girls bottom so it is the next best thing.   Oh and this happened ALL the time in the military for me!

I never felt prepared or adequate on how to handle these situations.  How to say "Don't", "NO!"....."You have no right!"

Instead, I would sheepishly smile and pull away as quickly as possible and try to avoid that person or situation.  I never knew or realized how much it was chipping away at my self love, my dignity, my armor!

***At this point some reading may be thinking....what's the big deal...no harm, no foul....ah lighten up....blah blah....

I AM TELLING YOU FROM A WOMAN'S PERSPECTIVE...AT LEAST FROM MY POINT OF VIEW:  THIS IS NOT OKAY!  IT IS NOT APPROPRIATE LOVE ACTIONS!

It wasn't until years later after many other situations of being torn down in different ways mentally, physically, spiritually that I finally found my voice.   I was again put in a situation where a married man acted beyond inappropriately toward me.   It wasn't just a pat, it was a squeeze!  He was a person I respected, worked close with, and admired.   I was confused and unsure.

I was wisely counseled by a friend and a spiritual director to speak up.  This was big for me.  This was hard for me.  It meant I had to create ripples.  I had to "hurt" someones feelings.  I had to say something that would definitely make someone not like me.  I would be altering this persons life.

BUT....I did it!  It was one of the hardest and FREEING things I ever did!

It was my journey of finally truly starting the process of  healing from other past hurts, abuses, pains!

This began my passion of building myself up.  Of building other women up.  Of truly becoming and respecting this self that God intended me to be!
To be fabulously feminine!

Thus, I vowed when I had my daughter, I wanted to teach her God's love, God's way we should be respect, God's way of being loved: truly loved!

I know as a parent I can't "protect" her from ever being victimized.  From ever feeling objectified. But, I can work my hardest to armor her properly; To teach her how she should be respected and loved.  My husband, her daddy, can take her out on "dates" and ensure she experiences how a woman, a girl should be treated.

We all have our part, our responsibility, in ensuring we are all treated with dignity, with respect, with AGAPE!

This is what I want for my daughter.

The beauty about my "phat pat" journey is I don't look back and think bitter or angry or defeated thoughts!  I know God took those experiences in my life and made them good.  I grew, learned, and healed from them. Making me  much more aware of why we as women must demand respect for our core of being a woman....a true woman!  And we can do it with dignity, with grace, and with authority.  

When we do this we are excellent examples to ourselves, other women, to our daughters! 
 And that to me is a sure fire way to minimize and lower the statistics or chances of my daughter ever being victimized.  

She is an amazing strong warrior who right now knows she is made beautifully.  She knows how she should and shouldn't be treated.  She knows how to speak up and demand respect.  I want to ensure she stays that way!  

If my journey helps me be a better teacher to her in this matter...
If my journey gives me the tools to make her stronger and more apt to say "No!" to inappropriate objectification....
...then I find nothing but beauty and glory in my journey!!!

  It is my journey.  But I do not want it for her!  I want her to stay as unblemished as possible!

Men:  Please do your part in guarding not only your eyes, but also your actions in ensuring you are truly respecting the dignity of women around you.....especially the special women in your life!

Women:  I beg you....command respect for your physical self so you can have respect in your mental health and a peace with your spiritual health!

I would love to hear your thoughts....your story....
Growing and learning together strengthens us.....and sharing is the most healing, empowering, strengthening action you can ever do!

Flex your healing power today to strengthen YOUR armor for Christ!

Blessings and prayers always,
~K :)




Friday, May 16, 2014

FEELING IT on Friday!



    I was reflecting on my posting of loving ourselves RIGHT NOW!   It had me thinking about how many times do we put something on and we don't like what we see?  Or we don't like how we feel?
My solution:  GET RID OF IT!

    Why should we keep things in our closet that doesn't  absolutely encourage us to love ourselves.
In the past I would keep something in my closet that I would say:
"Well maybe if I had this to go with it...."

    Or I would put on a pair of jeans that I just wasn't feeling it that particular day!  Which is absolutely ridiculous because another pair in my closet would feel just wonderful....

    Which got me to thinking:  why keep anything in my closet that doesn't just encourage me to love the beautiful woman GOD has made me to be?  Why not focus on what lends to my mind, my spirit of feeling fantastic!

    Therefore, I have learned over the years,  I only keep in my closet things that give me JOY....clothing that will speak to who I really am!   
Clothing that says:

1.  I will respect this temple.
2.  I will walk with my head high because I am beautiful.
3.  I will not be ashamed of this outfit.

*** I will not waste my time with clothing in my closet that does not speak to me!  
I will not wear something that doesn't shout:  I LOVE LIFE!  

How is this related to my faith....my femininity?

It means I am being authentic! 
I am honoring God!
And I am being that walking example to my beautiful warrior, that God is guiding me to mold, in my dynamic daughter!

Take home challenge:  Go to your closet right now.  Pull out 10 items that you always shake your head at or think negative things about yourself when you put it on or think about!  PULL THEM NOW! Bag them up.  Tie that bag with a knot!  Stick it into your trunk!  And take it to the consignment shop, donation spot, a friend...somewhere....anywhere....but do not keep them in your house a moment longer!

Be beautiful...
Be bold...
Be...

Would love to hear or see what you pulled from your closet.  Leave a comment below or email me a line!

Many blessings always,
~K :)






Saturday, May 10, 2014

Sprints...Strength...Strong on Saturday

I mentioned sprints and strength a while back; I wanted to share more about that!



I have been re-enjoying the great joy of sprinting! It is so freeing and takes so little time.  You get super winded.  And you build amazing strength.  Finally it takes so little time to get an even more effective workout without all the cortisol overload and depleted ick. 

As, I had decided to heal my body from over use of running longer distances I knew I needed to find balance.  

I've always loved sprint work.   The more I listened and read about sprinting, I was reminded of the valuable science of this amazing exercise.   And how it is very possible to do even less in a work out yet stay lean and strong.  Actually depending on a person's goal, get even leaner and stronger. 

Think about it for a moment!   When we watch the Olympics.  In the running competitions. Who looks strong and healthy and who looks depleted and like a skeleton between the sprinters and the long distance runners?

When I truly think about it and reflect upon it, again going back to yesterday, I would much rather look and feel like the life of the party.   Not a bag of bones just waiting for my number to be up!   Ok. That might be extreme.  But sometimes we need extreme analogies to get our point across even for ourselves!

Do I still love going for a run from time to time?  Yes.  But I am much more aware now of how it can create havoc not only on my body but in my mind.  And truly I know it is one of my "unhealthy" choices.  I know and understand the science that sustained cardio truly is not healthy for us.

Stay strong...stay healthy....and remember balance!

Balance in mind, body and soul.

Balance in our pursuit of knowing how everything is entwined.

Our Faith, Food, and Fitness, create a beautiful reminder of loving our Lord, loving our life, loving to laugh, and loving to live!

As always....blessings to you all!
Have a glorious day!
Drop me a line anytime!

~K :)

Friday, May 9, 2014

Freedom


What is true freedom?


I feel we take this simple word for granted in the U.S.

Today I am going to deviate, in a way, from what I have been sharing with anyone who wants to hear/read about my journey with our femininity, our sexuality.  Instead, I want to extend to all of you to reach out in prayer for a dear friend of mine.

I've shared in previous posts about the child slave trade in other countries.  My friend is embarking on a trip today for 10 days to spread light, hope, and love to those who don't see or experience these amazing gifts.

It breaks my heart so much to know how much we take for granted.

After all, what are my biggest worries, concerns, or thoughts during a normal day for me?

I have the luxury to think about things like receiving and providing nutritious meals for my family.  I have the opportunity to contemplate what physical challenge I want to embark on each month.  I am able to tweak and experiment with my own personal journey on topics like food, fitness, faith, finances, etc and then share it with all of you.

I have the freedom and the joy to think about how I can grow closer to Christ and not get caught up in this world.

I DON'T have to worry about being used as an object for someone elses morbid, evil intended pleasure.

I DON'T have to worry about my life being threatened each day.

I DON'T have to worry about my sexuality being stripped away in such a way that I don't even know what is healthy behavior toward my sexuality and my personal/physical body.

I DON'T have to worry about my moral compass being shattered because of the dark veil that shrouds my every day.

These children DO have these worries.

My heart breaks for these precious children.  The mommy in me wants to wrap my arms around them, love them, tell them it will all be okay.  But I can't and we all know that unfortunately really ugly, bad things DO take place in this very broken world.

BUT there is something we ALL CAN DO TOGETHER!  We can join in prayer!  The most powerful weapon we have against evil.

As a Catholic, we dedicate the month of May to Mary.  But it doesn't matter if a person is Catholic or not, Mary is mother to ALL OF US!  I think we can all respect and understand the the terrible pain and agony she must have experienced as she watched her precious son endure all HE did because of the evil in this world.

For the next 10 days WE CAN join together in prayer for these precious children in other countries.  WE CAN pray together that one day these children are freed from this evil....that these children experience a mothers love and warm embrace, and that even though humanity seems to have abandoned them, they are able to one day realize God has not....Christ will carry them...the Holy Spirit is loving them....and Mary will be their perfect mother!

Lets pray they are able to one day KNOW and FEEL the love of our Lord.
The love and embrace of their perfect heavenly mother.

There are many ways we can pray for these children during these 10 days....and beyond.

One way is through a Novena.

Another is learning as much as you can about these crimes and reflect on it, asking God to speak to your heart; to direct you in what action we can or should take.

We can turn to Mary, through the rosary, a scriptural prayer of the life and death of Jesus.

What ever form you choose to pray....please DO pray with me to STOP...TO END THE EVIL OF CHILD SEX TRADE....

Today I stop at this moment to pray for freedom for these precious children:
I believe in God the Father....(the apostles creed)
Our Father, who art in Heaven...(the Lords prayer)
Hail Mary full of grace...
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit...
O my Jesus forgive us our sins....
Amen.

My prayers and blessings...
Always...
~K



Sunday, May 4, 2014

"S" Sounds on Sunday!

Celebrate...
Shoes...
Starchy veggies...
Cinnamon...
Silly...
Social...
Seven...

I know these all seem random and my thoughts as I proceed will all seem random as well.  Yet, I can't help but see how it is all connected.  After all if I am living my life for Christ.  Thus, everything I do and experience will and should be touched or influenced by my walk with Christ.

I want to celebrate my faith saying thank you to my glorious Lord for everything He does for me!  I am beyond blessed to have a wonderful family.



I was thinking about shoes during mass the other day.  I know odd!  But as I become more and more of a minimalist with not only my life and stuff and attire, I have become more aware of how our shoes can impact our mobility.  Our shoes can nurture our alignment or hinder our health.  And if I want to be able to go, go, go for the Lord I MUST take care of my feet, thus my alignment.

I listened to a fabulous podcast last week as I enjoyed a fabulous long walk early in the morning.  The topic was about how even starchy veggies can still contribute to insulin surges...thus creating sugar cravings.  Thus needing to limit, or be cautious in how much we intake depending on our sensitivity with insulin as well as our nutritional, physical, and fitness goals!  Heck even our spiritual goals.  After all if I am "craving" anything but God I am putting too much focus on that craving that is not for God!



Cinnamon!  I love this amazing seasoning!  It is great in my tea in the morning.  A delightful sprinkle in warm coconut milk with cocoa powder and a touch of honey.   A fun twist with cayenne pepper on veggies or berries with coconut cream.  I sprinkle this amazing seasoning in and on just about everything: protein shakes, green shakes, salads, soups, drinks, cocoa/coconut oil bites, with almond butter and carrots!  It is warming, comforting, and helps control cravings....Ah I can envision God planting this beautiful spice in the garden of Eden just for me!

I have learned I must must must do something silly each day to make me smile! After all the more I laugh, smile, giggle through all of lifes trials the more I make God happy and the devil not so happy....not that makes me giddy with delight.




Socializing for me can be very exhausting sometimes but only because I am naturally in introvert.  But I know how important it is to socialize outside of my bubble because that is where I learn and experience some of the most amazing things and amazing people in my life.  It is how I am able to share what I learn with others.  It is how I am able to see God in action; through those around me.  Thus I've learned to make sure and respect the time that sandwiches around a larger gathering or event whether with friends or a function.  I try to take some down time before and after.

Seven days a week God gave to us to celebrate something new and different each day.  Therefore, I choose to reflect upon that seventh day of all the amazing experiences I had over the course of the last week and all I will encounter with great anticipation for the next.

What is your random seven words you want to think about, journal, reflect, and possibly share about today?! :-)

Many blessings and prayers as always!
Live a gloriously silly day!
~K :-)

Friday, May 2, 2014

Femininity on Friday (part 2)

I came across a very interesting study about how men look at women when they are wearing pants versus a skirt.  It was startling and slightly disturbing to me.




Does this mean I am going to give up my pants?  Probably not entirely.  But I do know I have been enjoying wearing skirts, dresses, smock/tunic long shirts with pants or leggings much more.

Thus, it has me continuing this pursuit of learning how we as women can make a change, to recapture our Femininity on Friday, and everyday of the week! :)

When I was reading Dressing with Dignity, a reference was made to this study of how when a man views a woman in pants, because of how their brains are wired, they follow straight lines.  Therefore, when women wear pants mens eyes follow the leg up to the crotch or buttocks.  Why is this a big deal?  Because, again since their minds are wired different than ours, they have a harder time controlling their thoughts and keeping them pure.

We, as women, are responsible for the near occasion of sin when we don't guard and cover our most intimate parts better.

Just like our "privates" are meant meant to be personal, private, between you, God, and your spouse....there are other parts of our body that still don't need to be "showed off" or accentuated in a such a way that it causes others to think about those private intimate spots.

It is hard to not want to look cute, attractive, and "sexy" (I really don't like that last word!)  Especially, when a person has worked really hard to lose a bunch of weight or has reached some serious physical goals.  After all who doesn't want to show off all their hard work of having a ripped six pack in a bikini.  Or defined shoulder caps from hard work of push ups and pull ups.  But, when we feel the need to "show off" who are we trying to glorify?

Aren't we a temple of the Holy Spirit?  Thus shouldn't we want to only impress God?  Some may say:  What's the point in losing weight or setting physical goals if I'm not going to show it off?

The point...

When we set goals , when we are passionate about something, that is the vehicle God is using to achieve His goals through us.  He may see our love for a sport.  He, then, gives us the opportunity to become disciplined, set schedules, to do things to accomplish these goals.  All along the way we are learning and developing set skills for other tasks He may want us to do in the future.

HE SEES THE SIX PACK!  He knows how hard you worked to get them.  He knows it required discipline, sacrifice, diligence, perseverance, etc...to reach your set goal.

HE IS going to reward you! As well as challenge you in other areas of your life to utilize these new set skills, disciplines you learned along the way to obtain a personal goal.

Back to our bikini....or leggings....or spandex...

Who's attention are we trying to catch?

What is our purpose for wearing something?

Do we really have the right to get mad if a man looks us up and down in a lustful way at the grocery store if we are weary just leggings, tank tops, and flip flops?

Can we kneel in prayer without wondering if the skirt is covering enough of our backside to not get caught on the pew bench and really cause a scene?

Do we really feel good about ourselves if we are walking around half naked and self conscience?

Are we self conscience that others are looking at us in a not so holy manner?

Are we conscience that our undergarments may be showing, showing through, creating lines, etc?

Are we conscientious enough to be aware that other women may not be thinking loving, sisterly thoughts toward us?

What about ourselves?  are we becoming self-conscious enough to not want to be compared to or to compare ourselves to the women around us?!

Society has done a terrible injustice for us women.  AND WE HAVE NOT HELPED IN THIS INJUSTICE.

We must fight to get our femininity back.

Forget about societies influence for just a moment, I wonder sometimes about our own internal struggles.

How many of us women have life experiences that have contributed to our lack of self love, self awareness, lack of knowledge of our true femininity?

How many of us were:
....not taught dignity of dress...
...witnessed other women in our life use their sexuallity as a bartering chip...
...experienced the extreme prudish attitude toward our true sexuality....
...were sexually abused....molested, raped, sexually scared in one way or another...

Therefore, breaking down our lack of self worth to lead us to think we are not worthy.  Does this contribute to the attitude we don't deserve respect because we are not respectable?

These can and do contribute to our choices in fashion and our attire choices.

                                            

Add societies definition of normal and no wonder why we feel bombarded, overwhelmed and want to throw up our hands in defeat.

BUT...WE MUST NOT!!!

WE MUST FIGHT!!!

No matter the circumstances that have lead us to make the choices we have with our attire, we can change it today.

God will smile and cheer us on for our efforts and hard work!

Our souls will grow and expand.

In return:  your self worth and self love will grow!

Then you can look in the mirror or down at your 6 pack abs with a glimmer and a twinkle in your eye; saying to yourself, "I have a secret only God knows" (and if married, your spouse) and that is just fun!

Stay faithful to our Amazing Lord in all things...even fashion!

Blessings and prayers as always to each and everyone of you as we continue to pursue this amazing life to live full, whole lives: mind, body and soul!

~K :)



Thursday, May 1, 2014

Thinking on Thursday



I love the month of May for many reasons:

Things should be blooming....
Mothers day....
A month to honor Mary...
Even my brothers birthday....
Anticipation for my dynamic Warriors birthday...

It is a great great month!

But my favorite of all of them is MARY!

I love having the opportunity to really reflect on Mary...the mother of GOD!

As I continue to grow in my faith, each year I find something new to reflect upon and draw from Mary.  A strength I have as well as a weakness that needs strengthening.

This year I think my month of May with Mary is to continue to grow in my knowledge of being a wonderous woman and wife.  And instead of just examining my weaknesses, the areas I need to grow in, I will journal about my amazing strengths and how can I continue to get even stronger in them.

I think we all, especially women, get too caught up with being hard on ourselves and not seeing how beautiful and amazing we are!  Thus, this year for the month of May in my journal each morning I am going to write down something that is amazing about myself, something that I know is a strength and makes me uniquely me!  Then at the end of the day I will write down something I did amazing that I know helped me grow in my love for my Lord.  My love for my husband.  My love for my family.  My love for myself!

I can't think of a better way to celebrate my true femininity, my being a wonderful woman, wife....faithful follower of Christ....than to look to Mary....the most perfect woman and reflect on how I can be more like her but also celebrate the ways I have improved from the year before.  After all we ALL have work to do but we all have come a long way.  Each year, each month, each day we have the opportunity to grow, learn, and celebrate with strength!

Thus, I start my Marian Celebration to being a woman, a wife, by saying today....man I am strong!  I love feeling strong!  I love waking up in the morning before everyone else to say GOOD MORNING LORD!  I love being able to pray my rosary as I swish my floors, start a load of laundry, and prepare my handsome hubby's meals.

I love being able to greet him in the morning and make sure he gets out the door with a smile, knowing that I took the time to engage with him in that brief moment in the morning, because NONE of us know when their loved ones time is to not be seen again.  Therefore, I never want to take it for granted that I didn't give him eye contact and say: I LOVE YOU!!! :)

I love knowing I get to then strengthen my physical body with movement and faith learning at the same time!

 I love the workout I accomplished yesterday.  During part of my workout I did lunges for 5 minutes straight.  I love knowing I have powerful legs that will get me through each day always.  I can carry, push, pull, lift....etc...just about anything I set my mind to because I am not afraid of a little bit of hard work!

I love knowing all I know about nutrition and what is nourishing for my body, and what is not.  Thus being able to know how everything I put into my body effects me, allowing me to make healthy choices, informed choices without having gunky thoughts about it!

Today is a glorious day!

What are you going to do during the month of Mary that celebrates and strengthens your love and devotion to Mary?!

Share with me your thoughts.  I would love to learn from you too!!!

hugs and prayers as always!
~K :)